


District Nine's All-American All-Nighter

by ugandadistrict9



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Awkwardness, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Kevin gets kinkshamed, M/M, Sexual Themes, because theyre definitely already all in love yup welcome to poly hell, dont read this its not what youre expecting, the orlando florida kink fic, this is allowed to happen without people asking them if theyre dating, this isn't really a ship thing but yeah that happens, wtf do i tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4688204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ugandadistrict9/pseuds/ugandadistrict9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Elders pull an all-nighter together, but stuff starts to get weird at about 3 in the morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	District Nine's All-American All-Nighter

**Author's Note:**

> this is 100% ic I swear

It was 3AM in the mission hut. The Elders had all agreed to stay up all night just for the fun of it. It had been board games and truth or dare at first, but after about 2AM, people started to get real deep. It had been Neeley's idea to start sharing confessions.

  
"Nothing leaves this circle." McKinley assured everyone when Zelder looked to be doubting this idea. "Promise?"

  
"Promise." they all agreed.

 

"Alright, Elder Neeley, since it was your idea, you're up first, then we'll go in order from there. McKinley rubs his hands together, simply itching to hear some juicy secrets.

  
"Well... I wanted to confess this for a while, but...." Neeley started. "I think I might be having....gay thoughts."

  
McKinley gasps. "OH-EM-GOSH Elder! Really?"

  
"I know, it's bad, but, that's not all. Um. One time, Elder Poptarts and I might have done... gay stuff together."

  
"Really!!!!???"

 

"Yeah... I'm sorry--"

  
"No, it's fine, it's-- here I'm next, I'll explain. My confession is......... I'm actually gay too." he pauses. "I know, I know, it might come as a shock to all of you with my expert skills at hiding it, but, it's true. I can deny it no longer. I'm really gay you guys."

  
All the Elders roll their eyes.

 

"How do I put this..." Price sighs. "We... kinda already knew that, Connor."

  
"Wait.......you did?" McKinley's eyes widen in disbelief

  
"It was really--" he cuts off, wincing. McKinley seems like it was really hard for him to say that, so he opted to keep his mouth shut. "Uh, nevermind. It was brave of you to say that. Next."

  
"Oh, that's me... Um, well, okay..." Davis starts timidly. "One time, I snuck food on fast sunday."

  
Everyone gasps as if this were much more scandalous than the last confession.

  
"Wow, Elder! Did you get a Hell dream for it?" Schrader exclaims.

  
Davis nods solemnly.

  
"Okay, Poptarts, it's your turn." McKinley smiles.

  
"Umm...." Poptarts blushes.

  
"Don't worry, it won't leave the circle. We promised." Church offers, patting him lightly.

  
"R-right. Uhm.... well... bit of a follow up on Elder McKinley's confession..... One time, I, uh, gave him a blowjob."

  
McKinley's face reddens as most of the elders turn to him, mouths agape. He smiles awkwardly, adjusting his collar. "Uh." he swallows nervously. "Ahaha. L-lovely weather we're having, am I right...?"

  
"Somehow, I'm not really surprised by this." Neeley says, frowning. "But, moving on... Elder Michaels, looks like it's your turn."

  
"Um... Well..... The same thing happened to me...."

  
"What?"

  
"Poptarts gave me a blowjob too.."

  
"Wait, seriously?" Price's eyes widen. "How often does this happen around here?"

  
"More often than you would care to know." McKinley says softly.

 

"Okay, wait a minute, wait, wait, before we move on. I'm just. Give me a second. Am I like... literally the only one in this room right now who _hasn't_ received oral sex from Poptar--"

  
Poptarts clears his throat awkwardly. "Ahem. Anyways.... Elder Price!" he chimes. "Your turn!"

  
"Oh.... Right." Price rubs his neck a little nervously. "Well, I don't think I can top that last one, but, here goes. Orlando... actually..turns me on.... a lot. More than I would like to admit...." he mumbles, looking down at the floor.

  
"Oh my _God_."

  
"I-I'm sorry, what was that?" McKinley coughs, holding in laughter.

  
"Ugh. I said Orlando turns me on, okay?" he repeats, closing his eyes.

 

"You're joking. Oh my God." Schrader chokes.

  
At this point, Cunningham is roaring with laughter. "Oh my gosh, best friend," he cries, slapping Price on the shoulder. "That's sick -- you're so gross, oh my gosh, you cant be serious about this--"

  
"Now, now, Elder. You-- you shouldn't--" McKinley snorts. "Don't kinkshame poor Kevin, it's-- it isn't that bad. I mean," he chokes on a sob of laughter. "Disneyland is p-pretty sexy."

  
The Elders break out in hysterical laughter.

  
"Disney _world_." Price corrects, glaring daggers at them.

  
"We're so sorry Kevin, It's just--" Church laughs, wiping tears from his eyes.

  
"It's not that bad, you guys, come on." Price protests, cheeks flushed red from embarrassment.

  
"It's totally that bad, dude." Cunningham assures him.

  
"I'm sorry, Elder Price." Schrader purses his lips, trying his hardest to stop laughing. He snorts, letting out another giggle, earning him a nasty glare from the younger Elder. "No, I really am, I promise."

  
"Guys, come on, stop laughing at him." McKinley laughs.

  
Price crosses his arms over his chest, frowning at them as they laughed and laughed.

  
"Okay, okay, you guys..." Neeley takes a deep breath as the laughter dies down. "We're really sorry. We overreacted. It's not that weird." he winks at McKinley, who's eyes light up with the same devious intentions. "I mean, Orlando is actually _reallllllly_ sexy." he says slowly.

  
"Oh, yeah." McKinley nods. "All the bright lights, and the beautiful beaches."

  
Price blushes deeper.

  
"Imagine if we were _in_ Orlando, _right now_. It's absolutely orgasmic." Neeley teases.

  
"Absolutely." Price murmurs.

  
Church snickers as he realizes the dark intentions in McKinley's words. The Elders all look at each other in disbelief.

  
"Imagine watching the sunset, on a beach. In Orlando, Florida."

  
Price gasps.

  
McKinley grins. "Orlando is actually super sexy, Kevin. A place where the sun _always_ shines. Mm."

  
"Oh, yeah..."

  
The other Elders are all in tears, covering their mouths and trying not to laugh and spoil the fun.

  
"Oh, Kevin.." Poptarts mock moans. "I'm gonna take you to Orlando so hard."

  
"What does that even mean?" Michaels whispers, sounding fairly close to choking to death.

  
"Fuck..." Price breathes. "Take me. Take me to Orlando."

  
"Mm, Kevin?" Poptarts continues.

  
The others all gasp at his over-the-top teasing voice.

  
"Yeah....?"

  
"What if I told you I'm gonna buy plane tickets to Orlando. One way tickets. No return."

  
"Oh, god....."

  
"Mm, you like that Kevin?"

  
"Y-yeah..."

  
"Good. There's more where that came from." he slides up to the disheveled brunet, grabbing him by the tie and gently pulling him closer. Neeley's mouth hangs open at the sight. Poptarts was really taking this to a whole other level. And he seemed practiced at it too, much to everyone's surprise.

  
"Show me how much you love Orlando, Kevin." Poptarts coos. "Do you wish you were there right now?"

  
"Mhmm."

  
"Orlando makes you feel hot and bothered, doesn't it?"

  
"Yeah..."

  
The other Elders are completely speechless at this point, mouths agape. Even the ones who had done sexual things with this side of Elder Thomas before still couldn't believe it. He must have been really getting sick amusement out of this kinkshaming. Or maybe he just really wanted an excuse to mess with Kevin Price.

  
"Close your eyes and think about all your favourite things about Orlando, Kevin." Poptarts whispers in Price's ear, cupping his cheek with his hand.

  
Price shudders. "Oh my god...."

  
"Kevin...?"

  
"Yeah?"

  
"Touch yourself." The blond says into Price's ear, voice low but loud enough to be heard by everybody.

  
"Ahh, wait." Price stops, furrowing his brow, without opening his eyes. "No way.... Everybody is watching... That's kinda--"

  
"Pretend they're not here." he smiles. "Picture yourself in Florida. In _Orlando_."

  
"Nnn, oh my God, stop-"

  
Or perhaps he just wanted an excuse to _fuck_ Kevin Price. McKinley thought to himself. But he honestly didn't blame him.

 

"Oh my God, Elder Thomas is a criminal at 3 in the morning.." Cunningham whispers to Neeley.

  
"You're tellin' me."

  
Cunningham averts his eyes from Neeley's face. "I'm going to pretend I never heard that."

  
"I'll do it for you, if you want." Poptarts offers. "Think about Orlando, Kevin."

  
"Um... Chris...?" Church whispers. "Aren't you going a _liiiitle_ too far here...?"

  
Price opens his eyes. His face flames as he sees everybody staring at him.

  
Poptarts shakes his head. "Not at all. We can't tease forever, right?" He says, patting Price on the head. "Gotta give poor little Kevie some relief sometime."

  
"I'm not little.."

  
"You think Orlando is super sexy don't you..?" Poptarts continues, completely ignoring that.

  
"Well, maybe, but..."

  
"Don't lie, Kevin. Orlando turns you on lots, doesn't it--"

  
"Chris," Price interrupts. "W-why are you doing this?"

  
"To help you out. We were being really really mean laughing at you, so I'm letting you indulge in your little fetish, shame free!"

  
"But... you guys are making this really weird and embarrassing.... But you do seem pretty intent on this, and I kinda... need....." he stammers. "Um, can the rest of you, like, at least go away...??"

  
Poptarts looks up at them. They all blink at him in confusion. "Shoo."

  
"What? Are you serious?" Neeley protests.

  
"Come on guys, let's go." McKinley says, leading them all to the bedroom nearest the living room, where Poptarts and Price are. "This house isn't soundproof at all." he whispers as they close the door. "We'll still be able to hear _all of it_ from here."

 

"I'm actually really sorry for teasing you, Kevin. They should be ashamed of themselves" Poptarts' voice says. "Everyone's always gonna think it's silly, but not me. I think you're hot when you're like this, even if I can't relate to this whole Orlando thing."

  
"Really...?"

  
"Really really. Here, this is comfier. Now, come here, and let me go down to _your_ Orlando."

  
The 8 Elders pressing their ears against the door aren't sure of the details of what happens next, but the noises are sinful. Elder Price's moans quickly become louder and more erratic.

  
"Oh my god....!!"

  
"Th-that's it, Kevin."

  
"O-ohh, Orlando... Orlando, I-I'm coming...!" Price gasps loudly.

  
Poptarts makes an 'mmm' sound as he catches his breath. "See? Was that so hard?

  
Price falls quiet, save for the sound of his heavy breathing.

  
"Yeah, see? It doesn't matter what _those guys_ think. Your weird Orlando fetish is totally yummy."

  
"Shut up-- Hey! Like two minutes ago you just said that it wasn't weird!"

  
Poptarts laughs. His cute laugh sounds way too precious and pure for what just happened moments ago. "You guys are free to come out now." he calls to the others.

The Elders emerge from the room to see a dead-looking Kevin Price sprawled out on the couch, with Poptarts sitting next to him, smiling innocently at him.

"Ughhhh, I'm sleepy..." Price complains, rubbing his eyes.

  
"Of course you are, silly." The blond says cutely, back to his normal self once again. "But it's only 4am, and you're not bailing on this all-nighter. Go make yourself some coffee or something."

  
"Make it for me..?" the brunet whines hopefully.

  
Poptarts just laughs again. "I already did you a favour."

  
Price groans, rolling over and doing up his pants before standing up and storming away to the kitchen, mumbling something about 'making his own damn coffee'.

Poptarts shrugs. "Somebody's grumpy."

  
"Well.... I think we're done with confessions, then......" McKinley says. "Who's up for another round of Monopoly?"

  
"Yes." Neeley says. "Let's wait for Kevin, though. I need to kick his ass again."

  
Schrader sighs, plopping back down on the couch. "I still can't believe he has a Disneyland fetish--"

  
"Disney _world_!" comes an angry voice from the kitchen. "And it's not _just_ Disneyworld, it's--."

  
"Here we go again..." Davis mumbles.

  
"But, honestly, who the _fuck_ gets turned on by Disneyland, Jesus Christ. You guys are absolutely disgusting." Price states with disdain as he re-enters the living room a couple of minutes later, hot cup of coffee in hand.

  
Church rolls his eyes. "Whatever. You wanna play Monopoly again, Kevin?"

  
"Oh, hell yes. It is on." Price quickly joins them on the floor, setting his coffee down beside him. "I'm not losing to Roger again."

"Psh, as if you're ever gonna beat me."

"You're so going down."

**Author's Note:**

> ORLANDOO ORLANDO IM COMIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGG
> 
> ps: poptarts is a sex demon and davis is a precious and innocent soul


End file.
